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The Year of Living Slowly: The Good and the Beautiful

10/16/2015

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The simple, the good, and the beautiful are more attractive when I slow down and wake up. I'm not yet clear on what I'm waking up to. Some might call it the true self, but I find this idea complicated and potentially misleading, so, for the time being I'll refer to this experience of awakening as Presence.

I capitalize Presence because it feels bigger and deeper than individual awareness. And, of course, I'm inclined to imagine and desire divine union.

In any case, Presence and poise are closely related. You've probably heard of or experienced a state where everything seems to slow down and the field of possibility expands. It's often experienced in athletic endeavors and performance is greatly improved when one can see the whole field of play and anticipate opportunities early on before they are obvious to the opponent. This state of being, and the way that it enhances the pleasures of team play, is one of my most coveted experiences.

But even the mundane and ordinary experience of being at home with time to spend however I please is greatly enhanced by Presence. As I mentioned above, the simple, the good, and the beautiful, which I often experience as dull and somehow inadequate, like raw vegetables compared to a doughnut, becoming more... I can't say that they become desirable in the same way that a doughnut is desirable, but they become enough. The excessive experience of sugar, salt, fat feels less necessary when I'm not sped up and operating unconsciously on autopilot.

It would be problematic if one began to desire vegetables in the same way we desire doughnuts. It's not only that doughnuts are unhealthy, except as a very occasional treat, but the way that they are desired is itself a form of idolatry. I eat doughnuts because I am disappointed by the gift of my life and by extension the Giver of life. I eat vegetables, on the other hand, as a nourishing gift, which can also be pleasurable, but the pleasure in this case is also gift rather than idolatry. There are life giving pleasures and there are life diminishing pleasures. As Paul said, all are lawful, but not all are profitable. One leads to health the other to sickness.

In my experience, it is only when the simple, the good, and the beautiful are adequate in their own right, as they naturally occur, that I will pass on the harmful alternatives. And this happens only when I am Present. When I am racing along on auto pilot is when the desire for "super-normal stimulation" becomes mostly automatic. It is too late to choose. Even though I may have made this hard choice many times in the past, it only puts off the inevitable. In this condition, even willing the good is a part of the illusion of a choosing self.

The choosing self, if it exists at all, only exists in the state of Presence.





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