I've been thinking about slowness and how essential it is to communication.
We patiently wait for children to acquire language and then increasing levels of sophistication of expression and understanding. Even after they've matured, we're not surprised when communication (real understanding) is difficult as a consequence of differences of generational experience. We accept that communicating with the people we love and know the best is challenging. That it requires time and effort and generous listening.
Why then are we surprised when it is difficult to understand and make ones self understood to people from different cultures, values, temperaments? We can look the same and be raised in the same culture and still have very different experiences and points of view.
I am the chief sinner in this realm. Far too often I'm dumbfounded by the way people see the world and the conclusions that they come to based on their p.o.v., which is the result of an exceedingly complex stew of family dynamics, temperament, genetics, hidden traumas, unique insights, etc. etc.
What I sense myself understanding a little better today is just how difficult it is to really know and be known, to grow in compassion and understanding. And the main difficulty is the patience required to do the slow work of finding a common ground. Not least of which is making sure that we agree on the meaning of the specialized jargon that we all use as short-hand. Jargon is efficient when everyone agrees on the meaning and implicit values inherent in the terminology, but deadly when the conversation proceeds with assumptions of shared understanding when there is no such agreement.
I have many hopes and expectations of The Year of Living Slowly, maybe I'll detail those soon, but today the freshest hope is that I'll welcome the incredible patience required to bring about real communication.
I often accuse the Divine of exasperating patience, because of God's refusal to use coercion of any kind, to value our freedom at great cost to God's self and creation. I hope to realize that I'm in good company as I try get small and vulnerable and humble in the creative work of communing through risky gift of language.
We patiently wait for children to acquire language and then increasing levels of sophistication of expression and understanding. Even after they've matured, we're not surprised when communication (real understanding) is difficult as a consequence of differences of generational experience. We accept that communicating with the people we love and know the best is challenging. That it requires time and effort and generous listening.
Why then are we surprised when it is difficult to understand and make ones self understood to people from different cultures, values, temperaments? We can look the same and be raised in the same culture and still have very different experiences and points of view.
I am the chief sinner in this realm. Far too often I'm dumbfounded by the way people see the world and the conclusions that they come to based on their p.o.v., which is the result of an exceedingly complex stew of family dynamics, temperament, genetics, hidden traumas, unique insights, etc. etc.
What I sense myself understanding a little better today is just how difficult it is to really know and be known, to grow in compassion and understanding. And the main difficulty is the patience required to do the slow work of finding a common ground. Not least of which is making sure that we agree on the meaning of the specialized jargon that we all use as short-hand. Jargon is efficient when everyone agrees on the meaning and implicit values inherent in the terminology, but deadly when the conversation proceeds with assumptions of shared understanding when there is no such agreement.
I have many hopes and expectations of The Year of Living Slowly, maybe I'll detail those soon, but today the freshest hope is that I'll welcome the incredible patience required to bring about real communication.
I often accuse the Divine of exasperating patience, because of God's refusal to use coercion of any kind, to value our freedom at great cost to God's self and creation. I hope to realize that I'm in good company as I try get small and vulnerable and humble in the creative work of communing through risky gift of language.
