On the other hand, this awareness doesn't immediately change who I am -- a person who thinks and feels terrible things. Awareness is an important part of the grace that results in transformation, but only an early stage of the process. And part of the reason we don't continue on the path is that the experience of confronting one's inner reality on a daily basis is very unpleasant, to say the least.
While I'm genuinely glad to have the option of reflection and restraint, I'm equally tired of living with the limited point of view that leads to harsh judgments of others, and my attachment to comfort and security which leaves me feeling competitive over scarce resources, rather than light hearted and generous.
This line from Yongey Mingyur Rinponche says it well, "Ultimately, happiness comes down to choosing between the discomfort of becoming aware of your mental afflictions and the discomfort of being ruled by them."