AWESTRUCKDUMBPILGRIM
  • Home Page
  • Musings
  • Reflections on Quotes
  • Poems
  • Aphorisms
  • Non Judgmental Awareness
  • The Year of Living Slowly
  • Pastor of Listening (Description and Articles)
  • Refuse to be Driven so that you Might be Drawn
  • Contemplation (Definitions)
  • Left-handed Power
  • Thickening the Sacred Story: Narrative Therapy and Spiritual Direction
  • Spiritual Direction, Contact Information
  • The Nature of Evil

Pastor of Listening Job Description

2/6/2013

6 Comments

 
Vision/Job description/Resume

Pastor of Listening
by David Norling

After thirty-five years of participation in the life of the church, I've noticed that while there is a lot of instructing and convincing, programming and organizing going on, there is very little listening. I'm referring to a particular kind of listening, a very intentional giving over to the process of discovery without an agenda. I believe that any activity that begins in this way is far more likely to flow freely and wholeheartedly, resulting in joyful, integrated action. The way that we listen to each other, scripture, God's spirit, our bodies, not to mention the least, the last, and the lost will dictate the quality of our presence in this world.

It is my desire to give the rest of my life to the revolutionary and healing activity of listening. While there is much that can be said about listening, it is the act itself which brings life and creates listeners that will give away what they have received. This is why I have no plan or program to offer, just a desire to wait with people as they speak of and discover the presence and activity of God in the most surprising of places, their daily lives.

Because, to my knowledge, the role "Pastor of Listening" is unprecedented, I am not really comfortable with the title. But, as my wife said, "As a congregant I would be comforted to know that there was such a person available to me and others. Especially in times of confusion and suffering," conditions we know to be more common than not. Making the ministry explicit in this way will encourage people to notice their heart's desires and struggles and actively pursue integration through relationship.

I imagine being introduced to the congregation and letting everyone know that I am available to listen to anything they need to say, including, but not limited to:

• Experiences of God that are confusing or so intense that they are hesitant to speak of them.
• Unresolved conflicts that keep them up at night.
• Questions about their faith that have in the past been met with quick, unsatisfactory answers.
• The feeling of not fitting in to any group.
• A desire to deepen their connection to God, even while they find themselves doubting that God even exists.
• If anyone has complaints, even if they are about the church hiring me, I'm here to listen.

The list of issues that need to be heard is probably as long as the list of names in the directory. So I would encourage them to listen to their heart for these questions.

I want to be clear right from the beginning, there are a myriad of questions to which I will not have answers, but I can promise that I will listen without judgment or presumption and with an open heart that is attentive to God's spirit. I also believe, after hundreds of confirming experiences, that there is immense power in the simple act of listening. In the process of speaking and being heard people find an increased clarity and the possibility of new options that hadn't occurred to them before. When a person's pain and confusion and or their hearts desire is heard, the next thing in their life becomes possible in a way that wasn't possible before‒when it was merely spinning around in their heads. There is access to the heart, and pathways to freedom that are blocked by unspoken burdens and the feeling of being alone. "Without a listener, the healing process is aborted."

Other activities I picture for a Pastor of Listening:
• Being available for on-going individual and group spiritual direction. 
• Training small group leaders who are interested in facilitating a group where the main focus is on people coming to know and be known by the other group members. (This would be done by doing a group, not through an educational program. Discerning who was gifted to lead this sort of group would only become clear by this process.)
• I would love to help form and lead a Spiritual Re-Formation Community where there is both instruction on the contemplative path and opportunities to practice spiritual disciplines together.
• Finally, I see an attraction to authenticity and a desire to go deeper in many people. Both those in the second-half of life and in Generation Xers who have been influenced by the Postmodern critique, consciously or not. It has been my experience that these folks feel alone and unheard. And because of this disconnect they are not wholehearted, active members of Christ's body. Programs do not attracted them. Most find them silly and fruitless. And while they may be attending from an honest commitment to the body, they are not truly engaged. By simply being a listening presence within the community and thereby becoming a rallying point for those already attending who have a similar vision, I believe that the vitality of any community will grow exponentially.

A note on normalizing the practice of spiritual direction. 

When a church makes this sort of pastoral care available
to its parishioners it recognizes the value of the process of exploring the authentic questions with which every believer struggles. Most especially those who are introverted and not comfortable bringing up their inner lives in the usual group format. This includes up to fifty percent of the church body. There is another large population in every church of people who do not need or desire psychological counseling, but find themselves filled with question and doubts that could only be shared in the most intimate and confidential
environment. There are very few options for these people to face their struggles, not to mention hopes and desires.



6 Comments

Tue, Feb 5, 2013

2/5/2013

0 Comments

 
The Art of Pastoral Listening - Leadership Books - ChristianityTodayLibrary.com

The Art of Pastoral Listening
Doug Self

It's not saying the right things but listening in the right way that's crucial to personal visitation.
—Doug Self

I would see Ed and Elaine at church or in the community. They were friendly; I was friendly. But we didn't get into extended conversations. I had heard they were having serious marital problems. The wife, in fact, had inquired about counseling with me, but the husband had been restive.

I knew I wasn't going to take the initiative. At best, they would demand months of counseling. At worst, I feared that I couldn't help them at all.

So on we went: I knew, and they knew, and we all pretended that we didn't know. I sometimes felt guilty for not visiting them. Nonetheless, I put it off—for years.

My pastoral responsibilities include visitation. In fact, I've experienced some success in this part of ministry. But I still find myself apprehensive about visiting people.

Why? Because I'm afraid I won't say the right thing at the right time. Maybe I won't say the appropriate word to calm the grieving widow or counter the objection of the unbeliever, or know what to say during seemingly pointless conversation.

I can overcome such fear in one of two ways. I can learn to say always the right thing at the right time, but let's face it, that's never going to happen. Or I can realize that it's not saying the right things but listening in the right way that's crucial to personal visitation.

I'll take the latter, and not because it's easier. Actually, good listening can be grueling. But when I focus on listening to another, it takes the pressure off me. I become less concerned about me and more about the person I'm listening to. I don't come as an expert ready to spew forth, but as a learner seeking to discover.
0 Comments

February 04th, 2013

2/4/2013

1 Comment

 
Listen to Me
Pastor


by
Misheck
Kirimi


When Deborah, a middle-aged, divorced woman was found dead in her room with a lethal syringe still dangling on her thigh, the local counselor recalled two significant facts he had observed about her. First, although Deborah was affiliated with a near by church, she had no close friends. Second, she had a distressing tale that she had to share with someone who would listen. She found nobody responsive enough with whom to share her story, and in a way that is what killed her. Probably the only ears that ever listened to her were those of Sly, her tomcat.


Our churches, homes, and workplaces are full of Deborah's people in dire need of being listened to. "It is impossible," said renowned Christian psychiatrist Paul Tournier, "to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to be taken seriously, to be understood."1 The world is thirsty for quality listeners. Teenagers talk to the wrong people because adults have no time or will to listen. Spouses confide in the wrong ears because they don't find patience or grace in the ears of their life partner. Nowhere do we see more clearly the don't-care attitude that has permeated our culture than in our low tolerance to the "tales" of
others.



This is why, at least in part, effective listening is a minister's premium skill. Good listening adds quality to pastoral services because people perceive it as ultimate proof of love and care for them. Unlike talking, listening is "selfish-proof." It is not "I" centered but "other" oriented. By listening actively the minister tells the talker, "what concerns you is important to me also . . . because you matter. I want to share your pain and happiness." 


1 Comment

    Archives

    February 2013

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.