THE PRACTICE
I enter the Presence, which is loveANDlight. I become as open to Presence as I can and think/say "I am willing to face, feel, or do whatever emerges in your presence."
Because Presence is loveANDlight, I know that I am safe and known. LoveANDlight is gentle, but unsentimental. I know that I am naked, my shadow exposed by the Light. But I can not see what Light sees, I get mere glimpses out of the corner of the eye of my imagination, or gut feelings that radiate out in varying levels of intensity. But I only need to wait and consent to the process that loveANDlight has initiated.
I am willing to experience these uncomfortable feelings and face whatever emerges in my imagination, because I trust Presence. Presence is not hurried or demanding, there is no need to rush to judgment or act, the guidance of loveANDlight is trustworthy, the Way will become clear.
THE EXPERIENCE
Most of the time, my experience entails the afore mentioned gut feelings that radiate through my body. I take these to be a release of anxiety that I have been holding in my body. Sometimes this feeling comes with images associated with the feeling, and because of the awareness, I understand better my relationship to the person or circumstance.
Sometimes I recall specific relationships and realize what I've been doing, how I really feel, or what I ought to do bring life or reconciliation. If the relationship is complicated, or fraught with baggage, I realize that I don't know what to do, or all that I feel. But this is clarifying and anxiety reducing, as well.
One of the experiences I find most interesting about the "I am willing prayer" is when I remember that there's something that must be done, that I want to see finished, but don't want to go through.
In the loveANDlight of Presence, I'm able to patiently imagine how I might go about doing the thing without the pressure of actually doing it, or the disintegrated feeling of coercing myself through shame, duty, or bribery.
I imagine different approaches, and often get into the weeds picturing the details: the how, where, when, what, why. But instead of a lonely, dutiful effort of will, it's a conversation with Presence with no attached obligation. I know that I will still be loved even if I choose not to act on these playful musings. But the fact is, far more often than not, I find myself eager to get started. I've imagined the way, I know I can do it, and that part of me that wanted to see it through from the beginning is happy to have a plan and delighted to forgo coercion.
I enter the Presence, which is loveANDlight. I become as open to Presence as I can and think/say "I am willing to face, feel, or do whatever emerges in your presence."
Because Presence is loveANDlight, I know that I am safe and known. LoveANDlight is gentle, but unsentimental. I know that I am naked, my shadow exposed by the Light. But I can not see what Light sees, I get mere glimpses out of the corner of the eye of my imagination, or gut feelings that radiate out in varying levels of intensity. But I only need to wait and consent to the process that loveANDlight has initiated.
I am willing to experience these uncomfortable feelings and face whatever emerges in my imagination, because I trust Presence. Presence is not hurried or demanding, there is no need to rush to judgment or act, the guidance of loveANDlight is trustworthy, the Way will become clear.
THE EXPERIENCE
Most of the time, my experience entails the afore mentioned gut feelings that radiate through my body. I take these to be a release of anxiety that I have been holding in my body. Sometimes this feeling comes with images associated with the feeling, and because of the awareness, I understand better my relationship to the person or circumstance.
Sometimes I recall specific relationships and realize what I've been doing, how I really feel, or what I ought to do bring life or reconciliation. If the relationship is complicated, or fraught with baggage, I realize that I don't know what to do, or all that I feel. But this is clarifying and anxiety reducing, as well.
One of the experiences I find most interesting about the "I am willing prayer" is when I remember that there's something that must be done, that I want to see finished, but don't want to go through.
In the loveANDlight of Presence, I'm able to patiently imagine how I might go about doing the thing without the pressure of actually doing it, or the disintegrated feeling of coercing myself through shame, duty, or bribery.
I imagine different approaches, and often get into the weeds picturing the details: the how, where, when, what, why. But instead of a lonely, dutiful effort of will, it's a conversation with Presence with no attached obligation. I know that I will still be loved even if I choose not to act on these playful musings. But the fact is, far more often than not, I find myself eager to get started. I've imagined the way, I know I can do it, and that part of me that wanted to see it through from the beginning is happy to have a plan and delighted to forgo coercion.