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Morning Dread

2/5/2013

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Waking up to feelings of distress. Dreading what might become a difficult day. Allowing those feelings to exist, not to pretend or ignore. After all, they do exist. They may even need to be heard, may have something to say, something informative.

At the same time, I realize that there is a much bigger story going on. One in which my dread is rather insignificant and can be experienced as a minor disturbance. But I can't will this perspective into being, I need to see it, to see it experientially.

The more, the beautiful, the liberating vision that inspires compassion that overwhelms self pity, I believe that it is on going and waiting to be discovered. And I believe that it includes, but contextualizes my morning dread.

Perhaps this vision can only be received as gift and so it is only available to the open handed, expectant ones, the childlike to whom Jesus gives the kingdom.

The question for me is where do I look for this gift and what do I do with the far more pressing experience of dread and self pity?
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