I've had dozens, maybe even hundreds of experiences where exercise, especially out in open spaces, has greatly improved my ability to feel gratitude and hope – but few as dramatic as today. I spent much of the morning singing the "It could be worse" song and practicing intentional gratitude, listing the many things for which I have reason to be thankful. The only result of these efforts was an experience of their futility.
I am often drawn to the hills, desiring the quiet spaciousness that can only be found out away from man-made diversions and responsibilities. On this day I was not drawn but driven. The negative energy in my soul could find no outlet in prayer or productive activity.
I was discouraged to find myself out of breath after the first, very short, up hill climb. I couldn't imagine doing anything more than a short hike in the flattest part of the trail – no hope of elevated vistas or an endorphin high. Fortunately, as often happens, I started to perk-up, to get a "second wind." Eventually, I found myself noticing and enjoying the simple, natural beauty, even though it is a very familiar trail.
It felt almost miraculous to move from a hopeless outlook, where nothing was satisfactory and the future seemed bleak to a place where cloud shadow moving slowly across the hills was all that it took to bring joy. I no longer needed anything to change. I didn't need to be in control. Life is gift, just as it is. I'm glad that there is are places to sweat out the toxins of man-made culture. I thank those who have struggled to keep open spaces available to the public.
I am often drawn to the hills, desiring the quiet spaciousness that can only be found out away from man-made diversions and responsibilities. On this day I was not drawn but driven. The negative energy in my soul could find no outlet in prayer or productive activity.
I was discouraged to find myself out of breath after the first, very short, up hill climb. I couldn't imagine doing anything more than a short hike in the flattest part of the trail – no hope of elevated vistas or an endorphin high. Fortunately, as often happens, I started to perk-up, to get a "second wind." Eventually, I found myself noticing and enjoying the simple, natural beauty, even though it is a very familiar trail.
It felt almost miraculous to move from a hopeless outlook, where nothing was satisfactory and the future seemed bleak to a place where cloud shadow moving slowly across the hills was all that it took to bring joy. I no longer needed anything to change. I didn't need to be in control. Life is gift, just as it is. I'm glad that there is are places to sweat out the toxins of man-made culture. I thank those who have struggled to keep open spaces available to the public.
